Can we Just Bury Our Heads in the Sand??? Just for the day?

Today we are very grateful to spend a day free of doctor's appointments and consultations. Although the phone calls keep coming and we had an insurance mess to figure out, we feel as though we can return to some sort of normalcy; at least for the day. Pete is off to meet with our pastor for lunch while I stay home with the kiddos. Then later we'll visit Izzy's school for an end of the year family party which we all will attend.
Last night we were overwhelmed. I finally turned to Pete and suggested we get out of the house. He was in agreement. We dropped everything, including our newfound ridiculously rigid diet, and went to our favorite cheap mexican food joint around the corner from the house. After that we took the kids to the Humpty Dumpty park. Despite the near freezing temperatures, we had a great time pushing the kids in the swings and listening to them squeal with delight as we ducked beneath their feet in a high energy game of peekaboo. We even went out for ice cream! For a moment we felt like "normal" people.
And we are still normal people underneath it all. But sometimes it's difficult to not feel like you should be wearing a sign on your forehead with the inscription, "I have cancer," or, "Someone I love has cancer." However, if you don't discuss it, you feel as though you aren't doing "it" justice. The diagnosis somehow changes everything and all of the sudden your life will never be the same. You don't want it to define you, yet all you do is yearn for conversations free of any cancer or chemotherapy references. This is how we feel at the moment and we are very fortunate, that today, we will have the ability to look beyond this situation and enjoy some quality time with real people who know nothing about it.
I know it is difficult for many of you that don't feel you have the "right" words to say. Let me assure you; we understand that. If the roles were reversed, I would have no idea what to say either. Some of you have shared that you don't want to bother us with your calls or concerns. Please know that you are not bothering us in any way shape or form. If for some reason we cannot answer your calls, we will call you back. We truly appreciate all the love, prayers, and support we have received and we will continue to take all we can get.
Let me end by sharing with you what a very wise friend shared with me the other day. Having been through a similar situation, she was able to share some very unique words of wisdom. She explained that this can be a very lonely journey, especially as it progresses. I was in a bit of shock by that, because at that moment I was overwhelmed by the number of you reaching out to us in our time of need. You see, many people do not reach out because they feel they are not needed or that they cannot help, but let me remind you that you can and have. We are in need of people to stand beside us for the long haul. People who will be there through thick and thin. Who can simply love us despite the difficult circumstances. Please remember that God knows your heart, and He knows our struggles. Simple prayers are sufficient for Him.
We want to thank you again for all you have done.

With Love

Alysha

Love Thy Neighbor

God is teaching us an abundance of lessons through all of this and He is using many of you as his vessels.  Thank you for ALL your support, prayers, and love. It is truly overwhelming.
At church this past sunday our pastor stated, "If someone on the body of Christ has a gift, I believe they should be recognized." So I want you all to know you have specific gifts and God is using YOU to further His kingdom through this experience. I wanted to use this time to share some of the many ways we have been blessed by all of you over the past few weeks.
Online networking has been such a valuable tool in spreading the word about Pete's diagnosis. In addition to your prayers, some of you have then passed on that information to prayer warrior friends and prayer groups. Thank you for that. God is using YOU!
We have also received an abundance of messages and calls filled with encouragement from friends and acquaintances. These words have helped us maintain a positive attitude in the midst of the unknown. Thank you for that. God is using YOU!
Many people have asked what they can do to help. We have had offers of home cooked meals, free child care, house cleaning, doing our errands, bringing coffee over, and hugs, just to name a few. Friends and family have also offered to fly out from all over the US to serve as live-in-nannies as well as just to be near in the event we need additional support. Wow, is all I can say. Thank you for that. God is using YOU!
We were very surprised when God used many of you to bless us with a special gift of relaxation and time together. We will be taking advantage of that next week. If that was you, thank you for that. God is using YOU!
We understand that this is a difficult situation and sometimes it's hard to know what to say. That's okay. Please know that God is still using YOU. We are confident that He has placed each and every one of you in our lives for a specific reason.
I want to end this by sharing with you a small excerpt from an old friend of mine. Keep in mind that this is just one example of how God is using His body to uplift us during this time. She wrote,

"We have been entering into prayer several times a day for you guys and I can't begin to tell you what peace I have been given. I can only imagine the thoughts and emotions you and Pete must be feeling and thinking daily but please know that you dont stand in this battle alone. I have had such a difficult time the past few days trying to figure out exactly what to say to you and I still dont know what to say but I can give you some truths. You are an incredibly strong woman of faith. God never gives us anything more than we can handle and the things he gives us are for HIS glory. We are often pinched, poked and prodded as He is molding us into what HE wants us to be. Out of every crossroad we encounter as Christians, He provides for us, loves us and brings forth a testimony. I have faith that a year from now you and Pete will be singing His praises together and sharing your beautiful testimony of divine healing."

Thank you for being God's instruments and for reminding us that we do not stand in this alone. You 

have turned a difficult situation into something bearable.

With Love,
Alysha

Matthew 22:39

The Switch

Pete and I have shared some very "raw"moments over the past week. Time spent with our heads bowed before the Lord in fervent prayer. Time spent wrapped in each other's arms as we weep together at the thought of being prematurely torn away from each other should the unthinkable happen. Time discussing health insurance coverage, life insurance, savings plans, etc... Time discussing treatment plans and options. The list goes on and on.

However an ongoing theme seems to be my desire to save him from this situation. "I wish I could just take it all away," or, "I wish I could trade places with you," I will say. But, he always responds with the same, "I don't." 

My husband, is perhaps, one of the most selfless people I know. That's one of the reasons I was drawn to him when we first began dating; he always put me first. And now that he has a family, he has not changed. He has only become more selfless as time has passed. His desire to help others is incredible. His ability to always see what I need before I even ask him is a real gift. And even in these most terrifying moments he has not wavered in his desire to provide the absolute best for his family. He is my hero. 

He is a caretaker at heart, therefore he has a difficult time when faced with the possibility that in the very near future he will be forced to lean on others for support. 

This is also something I struggle with. While Skyping with my dear friend in Abu Dhabi yesterday she said something that really hit home. She said, "You have done a lot for people and now it's your turn Alysha." Her comment was very humbling. And she's right. Accepting the help of others will be a skill we will both have to learn as time goes by. God is in the process of teaching us a lesson in dependence and love and we must not miss this opportunity to learn from our Master. 

We have been so blessed by the way people have offered to stand beside us during this journey. Thank you all for your continued love and support.

With love,

Alysha

Everest

I struggle to know where to begin. How do you even begin to describe an event that will forever change your life? How do you react when you are faced with losing the one you love? This is the true test, I guess. The way we react is the key to our success. We must think positively and trust in the Lord. At least, this is the plan.

Not even a week ago Pete went in for a colonoscopy. What I thought was a routine procedure to explore the cause of some intestinal issues turned out to be a nightmare. At the most, I expected a diagnosis of ulcerative colitis; a disease inherited from my mother-in-law. However, the news I received just blew me away. The phone rang, it was Pete. He said, "The doctor wants to talk to you." As I waited anxiously on the line I asked my mom, "Why do you think the doctor would want to talk to me?" She was at a loss. As soon as the doctor came on the line he stated, "We found a mass in his colon; we think it's cancer." CANCER??? The word pierced straight to my heart. How could that be, I thought. He's only 31. I began to sob. "I can't lose him. I just can't lose him," I repeated. 

And therein started the weeklong chain of events that leads us to where we are today. Pete was given a definitive diagnosis of stage 4 colorectal cancer that has spread to his lungs and some lymph-nodes. There you have it, a very active 31 year old mountain climber, father, husband, brother, and son who has CANCER. But where do we go from here? How do we move forward? My answer, we just do. Because we have no other choice. Because there is nothing that is more important to me than saving my husband's life. He is the father of MY children. He has no choice but to be here. 

Our year+ long process will start with chemotherapy and radiation in a few weeks. That will eventually lead to the extraction of the tumor and affected lymph-nodes, more chemo, then the removal of the tumors in the lungs, followed by more chemo. This will not be an easy fix. It will be tough. But I am certain that with our faith in God and our love for one another, we can overcome this. This is sure to be tougher than any mountain he has ever climbed; a metaphorical Everest. We can do this and we WILL do this. 

Thank you for all your prayers and support thus far. Please continue to pray for Pete's emotional and physical wellbeing. Please pray for a sense of continuity for our children as our lives are turned upside down. Please pray that I would have sufficient strength to continue to serve and support Pete as he takes this journey. Please pray that we would maintain our positive outlook. But most of all, pray that our faith in God and His plan would prevail above all. 

With love,

Alysha

And then there were FOUR...

Many of you already know we have another little one on the way. Little Lucas Charles St. Germain is due to make his debut sometime around December 8, 2010. We are so excited to meet our little man and complete our family! That's right, no more for us. Two is enough :)
As excited as I am to meet precious Luke, as the date approaches, I can't help but feel a sense of guilt over the fact that Izzy will have to share the love. I'm sure these are normal feelings and I'm positive there's enough love to go around, however these feelings are making me realize just how much I love our little girl. So here it goes, all the reasons I love her:
- I love how the first words out of her mouth in the morning are "Ushie" (That's Izzy language for Lucy which is the name of her doggie).
- I love how she gets so excited by watching the same video over and over. Her little lips pout out and she say, "oh!" With animation as she points to the screen.
- I love how she is a daredevil just like her daddy. She'll climb anything, fall down, and get right back up again without so much as shedding a tear.
- I love how she always wants to be outside even in 120 degree weather (well, love might be an exaggeration!)
- I love how she gives me cuddles during the middle of the day. There are some times she just wants to be held and rest her head on mommy's shoulder and I relish those moments.
- I love how she is repeating everything she hears nowadays.
- I love that she has an obsession with her daddy's deodorant and wants to carry it around all day with the lid off as she rubs it all over her body :)
- I love that she loves avocado and has nicknamed it "abledee".
Okay, I guess that's enough for now. I could go on for ages. She is such a character and is surprising us more and more everyday. It is a joy for me to be able to stay home and witness all her new developments as they occur.
Oh, and one more:
- I love how she signs mommy on my chin and says "momma" as if she's trying to remind me of who I am to her.

I realize I have been a slacker when it comes to updating this blog so I am turning over a new leaf and attempting to revive it. I also owe you a narrative of our adventures in Nepal and Europe but I'll save that for later. Stay tuned.
Much love,
Alysha

Settling Into Life in the UAE

I've come to the realization that the first few of my blog post were not so positive. I have not blogged in quite some time most likely due to the fact that I am finally content here. I no longer have a need to use this space to bash life in the UAE. In other words: Life is good!
Our attitude about being here has completely changed. We are finally at the point where we can say that this is home; at least for now. It's not as though to say that this feeling arose overnight. Quite the contrary. It was a rather slow progression of events. However, at one point I realized I could either resent the UAE for its many imperfections or accept the UAE for what it is and appreciate its beauty. I chose the latter. However, there were a few things that helped me change my attitude.
First of all we changed villas. We now have a much nicer villa (one that isn't sinking...at least not for now). We were truly blessed by the move in so many ways. One of them being that we were actually compensated for moving expenses including the cost of putting in a new lawn. This display of effort truly restored my faith in the UAE and its proceses. Additionally we have made great friends. We now have friends and neighbors we can call on when needed and people to rely on for spiritual support. It's such a great feeling to know we can pop over to our friends' house when we need encouragement or just someone to keep us company. And lastly, we have settled into a routine. Pete now works days and although he works long hours, he is on a regular sleep schedule. He no longer needs to catch his zzz's during the day when Izzy and I are awake. This has been a major improvement in our overall quality of life. In addition Izzy has plenty of little friends to keep her occupied. She will be starting her second session of swimming lessons at the pool within our compound in just a few days.
So, this is just a short overview of how our attitudes about life in the UAE have changed. I hope this helps you all to get a glimpse into our lives. We have been truly blessed in so many ways. We might even be staying for another 2 years!!!

The Concept of HOME

Our recent trip back to California was so refreshing. It provided a long awaited bit of respite for the soul for all of us. We had looked forward to the trip for some time and were so excited when the time finally came for us to return to our beloved country, even if it was only for a few weeks.
I have traveled quite a bit in my short life and never have I felt so honored and blessed to be an American. I am ashamed to say that, prior to my experience in Abu Dhabi, I took the luxuries of the United States for granted.
Our flight to the US was quite strenuous. We traveled for 30 hours with 20 of those hours being flight time. Izzy was a real trooper. She hardly fussed the whole time despite our sometimes cramped conditions. The travel time took a lot out of Pete and I. We were exhausted by the time we landed in California. Nevertheless, we could not take our eyes off the beautiful landscape during our descent into Sacramento. As we both peered out the window we looked at eachother and almost in unison stated, "So two years, not three," (referring to our time commitment in Abu Dhabi).
While at home we held many question and answer sessions about the life, culture and our feelings about Abu Dhabi. Each time someone would ask us, "So how is it over there? Do you like it?" We would respond, "NO!" While away our contempt for Abu Dhabi really shined through.
We were able to fit so much into our time at home. We caught up with friends, attended a wedding, experienced the joys of western medicine, and even took a trip down to San Diego to visit Charlie before heading back to Abu Dhabi.
We were both dreading the trip back. We didn't only not look forward to the flight time, but being back meant we were back to the daily grind; the depressing life of Abu Dhabi. Our flight back went just as seemlessly as our trip to California and despite all our complaining about the desert and the frustrations of life, as we descended into Abu Dhabi we couldn't help but think, "It's good to be HOME." As strange as it sounds this is HOME for now and we will make the best of it while we can.