As I was cleaning the house in preparation for Pete's homecoming from his Dad's this afternoon, I sat down for a minute while the floors dried (ok, I know I'm a little obsessive about the house being perfectly clean!), and my eyes fell upon our Shutterfly memory books I have compiled of our adventures over the past couple of years. As I went through them one by one, I was amazed by how much times have changed. I was also reminded of the wonderful adventures we've experienced as a family. There are times when it all seems like a dream but then I look at those special photos and my memories are overflowing once again. I am filled with awe and amazement as well as a bit of envy for those times that have passed. Then I wonder why things aren't as simple as they once were.
What I see the most are the memories Izzy has shared with her daddy and I am thankful that those have been captured through photos. I see her actions in each and every one of those photos that mirror her daddy's spirit; a spirit of adventure she will carry on with her through the rest of her life. I also see the fullness of love that her daddy has for her. I witness it in all the photos in which he is with her and I hope and pray that she remembers the special connection they share.
This all makes me ever so grateful for what her daddy is to her. He fills a role that I wonder if I will be able to fill. He is the ultimate storyteller, the most genuine friend, and the undivided attention giver. The truth is that there may come a day when she may not remember the specifics of her and her daddy's interactions but it is my hope that I will be able to make those memories live on for her. As a mommy, it is always our most innate desire to protect our children from hurt and pain, however in this instance, I have no control over that. I can only hope to ensure that our little Izzy understands the ultimate love her daddy has for her and will always have for her.
There are so many unknowns in this life and there will always be so many unanswered questions during our time on this earth, however our God is bigger and his love for us is bigger than anything we will ever know. I am so thankful that our precious Izzy has her earthly daddy's love for her as a mirror for what her heavenly Father's love is like. And in the end, I think that is the only thing that matters because there is nothing I can do to change any of this story, it just is as it is. But I am so eternally grateful for Izzy's daddy and who he is to her and although this story may not turn out as we planned, I know she will always be as well.