Friday, December 16, 2011

Can we Just Bury Our Heads in the Sand??? Just for the day?

Today we are very grateful to spend a day free of doctor's appointments and consultations. Although the phone calls keep coming and we had an insurance mess to figure out, we feel as though we can return to some sort of normalcy; at least for the day. Pete is off to meet with our pastor for lunch while I stay home with the kiddos. Then later we'll visit Izzy's school for an end of the year family party which we all will attend.
Last night we were overwhelmed. I finally turned to Pete and suggested we get out of the house. He was in agreement. We dropped everything, including our newfound ridiculously rigid diet, and went to our favorite cheap mexican food joint around the corner from the house. After that we took the kids to the Humpty Dumpty park. Despite the near freezing temperatures, we had a great time pushing the kids in the swings and listening to them squeal with delight as we ducked beneath their feet in a high energy game of peekaboo. We even went out for ice cream! For a moment we felt like "normal" people.
And we are still normal people underneath it all. But sometimes it's difficult to not feel like you should be wearing a sign on your forehead with the inscription, "I have cancer," or, "Someone I love has cancer." However, if you don't discuss it, you feel as though you aren't doing "it" justice. The diagnosis somehow changes everything and all of the sudden your life will never be the same. You don't want it to define you, yet all you do is yearn for conversations free of any cancer or chemotherapy references. This is how we feel at the moment and we are very fortunate, that today, we will have the ability to look beyond this situation and enjoy some quality time with real people who know nothing about it.
I know it is difficult for many of you that don't feel you have the "right" words to say. Let me assure you; we understand that. If the roles were reversed, I would have no idea what to say either. Some of you have shared that you don't want to bother us with your calls or concerns. Please know that you are not bothering us in any way shape or form. If for some reason we cannot answer your calls, we will call you back. We truly appreciate all the love, prayers, and support we have received and we will continue to take all we can get.
Let me end by sharing with you what a very wise friend shared with me the other day. Having been through a similar situation, she was able to share some very unique words of wisdom. She explained that this can be a very lonely journey, especially as it progresses. I was in a bit of shock by that, because at that moment I was overwhelmed by the number of you reaching out to us in our time of need. You see, many people do not reach out because they feel they are not needed or that they cannot help, but let me remind you that you can and have. We are in need of people to stand beside us for the long haul. People who will be there through thick and thin. Who can simply love us despite the difficult circumstances. Please remember that God knows your heart, and He knows our struggles. Simple prayers are sufficient for Him.
We want to thank you again for all you have done.

With Love

Alysha

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