Friday, December 30, 2011

Coping

When I first learned of Pete's diagnosis I felt helpless so I cried. It was so difficult being in Idaho when everything went down. I had no idea how I could support him from afar and I didn't know what to say. While on the flight home, I sobbed. I half-expected someone to notice but they didn't. Or else, if they did, they didn't know what to say. I'd like to think that if the roles had been reversed, I would have reached out to a woman in need, but who knows? Our coping skills have come a long way since then. We have hope. We try to keep the mood light-hearted with plenty of of jokes, play time with the kids, and lots of love. The circumstances have caused me to cherish my family both near and far. I've suddenly learned to appreciate each person's quirks and imperfections. The presence of those I love is a blessing. The holidays have come and gone and so have my in-laws. To say their presence here was a blessing would be an understatement. They served us with joyful hearts; cooking, cleaning, and caring for the kids. They even became infected with the family cold and still managed to muster a smile. My mother-in-law also sat patiently through Pete's first infusion and offered support whenever necessary. The days following the infusion were rough for everyone but especially Pete. The neuropathy (nerve sensitivity) was intense and the nausea was almost unbearable. On Christmas eve he ended up in the emergency room but luckily only stayed a few hours and was discharged with orders to drink lots of fluids. It's all a learning process. He's slowly learning what his body can and cannot tolerate. And I'm slowly learning what he needs from me. It's a struggle and as much as I'd like to say I know what he's thinking, I don't. And he's not an easy nut to crack. He keeps his emotions inside and it's difficult to draw them out. Sometimes I feel at a loss for words. After all, everything can't be viewed through rose colored glasses all the time. The reality of it all is sometimes overwhelming and the positivity is, at times, difficult to maintain. Last night we were discussing the news that the young pastor who baptized Izzy is once again struggling with colon cancer. Pete mentioned that even if you think you're out of the woods, there's always a chance of reoccurrence. I told him I wasn't going to think like that and began to make jokes. I don't know if I'd call that positivity or denial but either way, I guess it's working for now. Your thoughts and prayers are still greatly appreciated. We'll take all we can get. With Love, Alysha

4 comments:

  1. I love you sister and am amazed and I admire the strength that you and Pete have possessed through all of this. We are always praying for you guys and we know that with god all things are possible. Remember I am always there with you in spirit but, if you ever need me I will be there in a heart beat.

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  2. I'd call it godly positivity! 'The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.' Proverbs 18:21

    I'm so thankful you keep us involved in this journey. We keep you in our prayers and know God has you in the palm of His hand. I remember feeling so alone and scared on the plane during take-off to Abu Dhabi, and as I prayed I saw God's hand under the plan guiding it safely to this unfamiliar far away land. I later discovered that at the same time God was revealing this perfect assurance to me, he was also revealing it to my mother who watched the plane from the ground. God is so good, and when you need Him the most He is there with His wonderful comfort.

    Happy New Year to you and your beautiful family! May 2012 be an amazing year full of God's great blessings and peace!

    -Kimberly

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  3. Alysha and Pete stay strong and keep faith! We are thinking of you all and are just down the road if you guys want or need anything, even if it is just to talk or hang out.

    -Bryan

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  4. Alysha, you are amazing! Truly, you inspire me as a wife and mother that you are. Just know that there is never a right or wrong way to cope - it is whatever works for you and gets you through. You and Pete are constantly in my prayers. Always remember that God is near at all times - we have an amazing God! I know you guys are making Him so proud by your faith through this trial!

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